Anthem Of The Angels
by Leveragelover
Summary: It's the morning after and things are more painful then either of them expected. -the morning after an alternate ending of The Lost Heir Job-


**Ugh, okay, so I finally finished this! Named after Breaking Bejamins song. I promise I'll have chapter 5 and 6 of my other story up soon ~ I don't own Leverage!**

_Anthem Of The Angels_

It's dim in the room when his eyes slowly open, and the darkness dissipates around him like a shroud over his eyes being stripped away. As he looks around the dim room he remembers the night beforehand. It takes him a moment to recall how it all snowballed into them making it to bed, but then the memory of him yelling the words 'I need you' and his mouth against hers are flooded into his mind.

He sighs, rubbing his eyes, shifting in bed, and finally getting out. His boxers are on the other side of the room and he groggily trudges over to them and pulls them on. When he turns around to head back to bed, Sophie's already rolled over onto the spot where he'd been sleeping and made herself comfortable on the warm spot of the mattress. Not wanting to wake her, he gets in her side of the bed and presses himself close against her backside. She doesn't stir as so much of a small sigh and shifting more towards him. He wraps his arm around her waist and buries his nose in her hair, and he knows that this is how it was supposed to be all along.

He doesn't want to think about what happens next or even how this will effect their relationship, all he wants is to just stay in this moment. He's not sure if she'll even want him when she wakes up or if last night was a mistake. Tears sting at his eyes as he remembers her crying. To see someone try and bare their soul to you - try to tear down the walls of lies to let you in - but only to end up crying in pain because they are still too raw on the inside. Nate never saw something more heartbreaking. And at the same time he thought he had hurt her, physically and emotionally just hurt her, and that was what pained him most of all.

They almost stopped there.

But Sophie mumbled something like - 'I just never thought this would happen. And when I hurt you like that...I never thought you would care.' - and he was holding her fragile body, not progressing further except the light kiss he pressed to her shoulder.

They ended up making love that night...after Soph had assured Nate that he was not hurting her. He was gentle with her still, and all the tenderness and care he tried to show her almost felt like it wasn't enough. Bodies worn and tired, they started to drift to sleep, but under the covers Nates hand was reaching out to hold Sophie's only to find it balled into a fist.

He's slowly brought back to the real world as he shifts behind Sophie. He brushes his lips against her shoulder and takes in all the perfection of the moment. It's all gone too soon, and again his mind is back to night before.

He felt so shut out all the sudden. So pushed away and forgotten even in the few minutes that passed. Yet deep down he knows she is only afraid, only able to handle so much of it, and is searching for something that will never come. It clouds his thoughts like the calm before a thunderstorm. He is so beyond tired that he cannot sleep. When he reaches for her hand an hour later it is still clenched into a fist, and he sighs, and he gives up, and he lets sleep take him.

Sophie stirs beside him, groaning as sleep is taken from her and her eyes open. She feels an arm around her waist and a body pressed against her from behind, gentle breathing against the bare skin of her shoulder. "Nate?" She whispers just so she can hear his reply. He gives a gentle 'hmm' in response and kisses the dip where neck meets shoulder. "You stayed?"

"Of course I stayed Soph!" He says, almost confused as why she would think differently. He props himself up on his forearm slightly so he can see her better. "Do you regret it?"

"No...No, I don't," She replies with a small frown and look of thought. She still has yet to look at him. "I just..." As he starts to gently stroke her tummy she pauses and sighs. She falters, letting the soft feeling of his hand against her stomach lull her into a sleepy state. "Nate..."

"Yes, Sophie?"

"Nate." His name comes out as a sigh as she exhales. She roles over on her back and looks up at him, reaching out in the darkness to caress his face. She feels the muscles in his cheek twitch as he smiles. "Why did you come here?"

"I was lonely."

She thinks back to the years and months she spent without Nate. All the men she dated just to try and fill a cavity too wide for anyone to fill, and all the hearts she broke, yet hers never was. When they left it only shoved the harsh reality of what she was in her face. And what she was was not something she liked to be cruelly reminded of. "Did you come just to sleep with me?"

He doesn't respond.

"That's what I thought," She shoots back cooly, voice wavering. "You just wanted to fuck me and then leave me in the dirt. Am I worthless to you? Am I just as bloody fucking worthless as some hussie you'd pick up on the street? I thought you were better then that Nate. I thought you would treat me better then that." She moves to get out bed but Nate catches her hip and holds her firmly in place.

"You're wrong. You are not worthless to me. I..." He pressed his lips into a thin line, looking down as to avoid her gaze. "I'm sorry if you feel that way." His hand slips away from her hip and he moves so he's sitting all the way up. She watches him from her place lying down before sitting up herself, holding the blanket up to cover herself.

"And how do I know those aren't empty words? You've never kept a damn promise you made to me so why is this any different?"

He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he tried to think of a good reason. In truth there was no good reason for why she should believe him. "Why did you cry last night?" He paused and then slowly turned his head to look at her. "Do you know hard it was for me to see you cry?"

"You don't get it Nate!" She says in an almost exasperated yell. "You're to oblivious to see what's staring you right in your damn face, and I'm tired of It."

"Well maybe if you communicated how you felt instead of being cryptic and pushing me away then you wouldn't feel that way. And maybe I'm the one who's tired of all the mixed signals you've been giving me," Nate yelled back, his face contorting in anger.

He sees her bottom lip tremble and he catches the glint of her glossy eyes in the small slice of morning light coming through the blinds. He's made her cry. Again. She crosses her arms across her legs and hides her face as she starts to cry. The tears flow freely out of her eyes and she struggles to catch her breath. She's naked and crying next to him, and she's sure that there is nothing more humiliating and nothing more vulnerable then it.

He puts a hand on her bareback and rubs soft circles to comfort her. Her skin is cool and smooth underneath his touch, like it's never been tore open or beat, yet he knows that below is too many scars to count. He brushes his thumb over the only visible scar there; the one he gave her. "Sophie..." He whispers. "Sophie I'm sorry." Nate gets out of bed and heads over to her closet, pulling out a sweatshirt and pajama pants. He sets them down on the edge of the bed before leaving the room and shutting the door quietly behind him.

She takes that as her queue to put some clothes on and tries to stop her crying so she can do so. Her crying doesn't stop, it only slows, and she wants to scream and flail in anger because she doesn't want any of this. She doesn't want the conflicting feelings or the facing the facts conversation. It all just came so unexpectedly and she wasn't ready for it. What was she supposed to do now? let Nate walk all over her while she sat there trying not to ball her eyes out because all he had down was break her more? Big tears dropped to the floor, splashing on her feet.

When she opened the door she didn't see him. She looked down both ends of the hall saying, "Nate?" No response. She stepped out from her room, wiping the tears away, and walked out into the main room. He was standing there watching over a pot of water.

"I'm making some tea, but if you'd like water I got a glass for you," He said in an even tone, nudging his head towards the glass of water on the counter.

Her eyes are puffy and red from crying and she sniffles, hugging her body tightly and slouching. She shuffles over to the kitchen and grabs the glass of water. He's only in his boxers, and even in this horrible state she can't help but feel the effect in the pit of her stomach. She remembered the feeling of her hands roaming over his chest jaggedly, pulling him against her own body, and kissing him with need. What had the need done though? It was the reason she cried last night and the reason she was just that much more broken.

"You cried because I was hurting you," He says softly, voice filled with sorrow and regret.

She's already half way done with the glass. Unable to meet his gaze yet, she turns her heard to the side and scoffs quietly. Took him long enough. Slowly she turns her head back to look at him, eyes filled with anger and tears. "Yeah. It seems we have a knack for hurting each other."

Silence is hung.

No one speaks.

The tears start to dry in Sophie's eyes. The water boils and the faint smell of tea drifts from the tea pot as it steeps. She wants tea, but her body refuses to cooperate, and she feels like she is just a slug left to die. Her mouth is glued shut and she cannot ask for some. After a few long dreadful minutes pass, Nate sets a cup full of the steaming tea in front of her.

"Do you want to talk now and get it over with?"

She nodded.

He licked his lips nervously. All he really wanted to know was if she wanted to continue with a relationship. Then again there's so many other things to worry about too. He sipped his own cup of tea. "Alright...um...I guess the first question is if you're coming back, but if you're not...what it means for us."

"I don't really know..." She scratched at her neck, "I feel like I'm even more lost now. You know...I thought having sex with you might fix my problems. I thought letting someone in like that would be the thing I needed to sort myself out."

"Wait. Did you only have sex with me last night because you thought it was going to benefit you?" Nate said in an almost stunned tone, but also weighted with offense and irritation. She started to protest with excuses. "You probably don't even realize how selfish that is. You know, you accused me of coming just to sleep with you but you're the one that used me. I mean...wow...why would you even do that?"

Tears were already in her eyes. She turned to look at him. "Because I couldn't help myself!" A smack reverberated through the air as her bare foot hit the floor in anger. She was beyond trying to sort out all of her feelings. "You know screw being vulnerable and screw what other people think about me! I don't care how it makes me look or how it'll affect me because it's the god damn truth and I'm done hiding it! I need you Nate! I need you, alright?! I'm lost and confused and I can always count on you to make me feel better."

He stood there - stunned. She soon realizes her mistake and turns her face, reaching up with shaky hands to wipe away her crippling tears. He's replaying her words in his mind. Could she have really have said them? It seemed to surreal for her to express her feelings like that. He watched her; catching a glimpse of shiny tears on her hand, the shake of her arms as she tried not to cry, and her tangled oaken hair hanging in front of her face. She seemed so unbearably raw and afraid.

He wasn't sure what propelled him to make his next move. It was an action before a thought. He was holding her tightly. The shock of his own actions almost caused him to pull away, for fear that she wouldn't like it, but then he felt her hugging back just as tight, her small hands gripping at his shirt. Her tears wet the skin underneath the fabric as she let all the pent up sadness and anger spill out from her. He gently stroked her hair and whispered firm but gentle assurance. For some reason, that Nathan had yet to realize, holding this fragile woman in his arm seemed like the most natural thing. It seemed as though she always belonged right there in his arms. And even though the once smooth pieces of the puzzle with now rigid and sharp, they would find someway, somehow, to meld together once again.

The journey would be long - it would be tough - and that was as good as a hope the Grifter and Mastermind could get right now.

**THE END. **


End file.
